Reading with Mommy

Daddy snoozing -

Clara close up of her cereal feeding

Clara in her new stationary walker? Whatever you call it!

Clara sleeps like mommy - suntanning in her dreams

Boo! Halloween!

It's Halloween! Clara has officially been at Daycare for 31 days.. well minus the weekends.

She's doing so great so far.. I'm glad I picked the right Daycare (eventhough it's darn $$$$!!).. The teachers are so loving. Clara now has a "grandma" figure, 2 motherly teachers, and 2 fun and young teachers to interact with. Not to mention the other cute babies whom she can pretend to be her siblings.. :)

Clara has officially been deemed as the "happy" baby. She smiles and laughs constantly. She must be thinking some of the funniest things inside her head cos she'll bust out laughing all on her own. She would also smile and laugh at other babies - particularly, babies in distress. I'd like to think that she's trying to cheer them up versus laughing "at" them.

At one occasion, Miss Joy was holding Clara on her lap when Clara busted out laughing. Miss Joy looked at where Clara was looking at and laughing at. Elise, a younger 4 month old baby had just thrown up milk all over herself. How naughty!

At another, involves a little 10 month old Indian boy, who cries constantly cos he's new at Daycare. He spent his first 10 months of life at home with his grandparents and so starting daycare so late has not turned out so well for him. But whenever he wails and cries, Clara would turn to him and laugh. Now here, I'd like to think that she's trying to cheer him up.

Anyway, we ended Clara's first month of Daycare with Halloween. We brought her Purple Dinosaur costume (which her grandma bought for her) to Daycare. They dressed her up and showed her off to the older kids in the school. She is a popular baby I hear with her cuteness and all!

I was thinking of bringing her to the outlet mall near our house. The stores are doing trick/treating.. and thought it'd be fun to bring her. But she's still zzz from her late evening nap. Maybe not.. maybe next year when she's older!

Guilt tripping Daddy... :)

John routinely calls me from his car in the morning on his way to drop Clara off. Yesterday, he called me again after he dropped Clara yesterday and told me that apparently, Clara got mad at Daddy!

'She woke up yesterday in a bad mood" was how Daddy described it. She wouldn't want to play by herself like she usually would in the morning after a feeding and a change while Daddy gets ready. Well, Daddy has to get ready so no choice but to leave her crying. He took his time of course, like a heartless Daddy would! And left her crying. She cried so hard that she fell asleep. Then woke up again crying. Needless to say, she had a tough morning.

John drove her to daycare and brought her in. The moment Clara saw the teachers, she gave them a big wide smile. Miss Joy took her in her arms.. and Clara immediately turned to Daddy and gave him an "evil look."... Then turned back to Miss Joy and gave her another big smile.

It was so obviously intentional that Daddy got hurt.. :(... Daddy usually spends 5-10 minutes there before taking off. Clara wouldn't smile at him and purposely would smile at the teachers only.. In the end, John really needed to go so he told Clara "Sorry and to pls not to be mad at him." She finally did .. :)

I tell ya.. Clara sure knows how to guilt-trip her daddy.

Separation Anxiety

It's Day 3 for me. It's back to work.. and Clara's 3rd day at Daycare.. :(

Yes.. separation anxiety. But I have to say it's me who's anxious about being away from Clara.

I worked out with my employer a schedule that would allow me to see more of Clara.. which is a 6AM - 3PM work schedule. I have to wake up at a crazy early morning hour of 3:50AM but I'm used to it by now to be up at odd hours. I'm missing my daily naps with Clara though.. :(... At least, I get to leave work early, pick her up and spend some waking time with her.

Waking up early also means I may not get to say goodbye to her in the morning.. :(.. Like this morning. I sneaked in quietly into her bedroom and watched her sleep for a bit before I left. She's been sleeping through the night pretty good the last week or so. The rain would keep her up sometimes but usually, she'll go to bed around 8-9PM and wake up around 5-6AM. She may wake up like yesterday morning at around 3:45AM.. just before my alarm went off. I got to feed her and put her back to sleep before I went to work which was a treat.

Clara on the other hand seems to be having a good time at Daycare. At least, she seems happy and content.. just really tired by the end of the day. The teachers say she's real easy and happy. So hopefully, I'm the only one suffering here.. My biggest fear is that she won't remember who I am.. it sounds silly but the fear is real and in my head the fear is not an illogical one! Sigh..............

I can't wait for the weekend to arrive so I can spend 2 whole days with her.. and have her all to myself..

I miss her...............

More Pics From Leavenworth Trip

Pics from the Leavenworth trip!

Sniffles...

My baby got a cold...

Just came back from her pediatrician. Dr. Elner must have plenty experiences with first-time moms. She spent barely 10 mins with Clara.. and our conversation was more about assuring me that she's OK and it's just a cold. Poor baby.. I feel so bad for Clara but seems like I'm being overly worried about her little cold.

Last night, she didn't want very much of her milk. 2 ozs at 5 pm. And it took her over an hour to finish 4 ozs at her 8 pm bedtime feeding. Usually, it would take her 15-20 mins and she would gobble down 5-6 ozs..

Thinking she's just prob more tired than hungry, John put her to bed while I did some studying. But she kept waking up from her sleep and whimpered and cried. We thought, "Well, maybe she's hungry still. Next time she wakes up, we'll feed her." We went to bed around 11 PM, and she woke up around 1 AM. I didn't hear her cos I took a Benadryl.. yes, still taking it to help me sleep. John fed her and burped her and did all that and came back to bed.

Then at 3:30 AM, I heard Clara crying. I turned and saw that John wasn't there. OK, John got her.. but she was crying inconsolably.. which was weird. Usually she doesn't cry this long when one of us is with her. Then I heard a loud splat on the floor.. I sprung up.. I knew she threw up. She cried even louder!.. :(

I got to her bedroom and John was patting her back and she had tears all over her face with snot down her nose.. So pitiful. She wouldn't stop crying until I held her. WHICH IS A FIRST! Usually, she doesn't have a particular preference for mommy or daddy. But last night, she wouldn't want daddy. She only wanted mommy.

So I held her, we helped suck her snot out, wiped her tears.. and whenever she breathed, we could hear her snot. (I don't have a better word than snot.. what's a better word??).. Her eyes were poofy from crying and sleepiness. We gave her a little bit of Tylenol. Fed her 1 oz of milk which she didn't finish. Then after holding her for 30 minutes, she fell back to sleep.

My poor baby wasn't feeling well. She woke up again around 5:30 AM.. So I made some milk.. and she drank the whole 6 ozs! Feeling better that she got some milk in her tummy and that she's sound asleep... I put her back in her crib.. and I tried to get some snooze myself..

I had the craziest dream.. prob from lack of sleep. Anyway, I woke up to the sound of Clara cooing through the baby monitor. Apparently, she's feeling better. I looked at the clock.. 9:30 AM. She had some sleep which was good. Usually she'd be up by 8 AM.. Well, thank goodness, cos so I got some sleep too. I lay in bed for awhile. She continued to coo to herself. So cute..

I got up, called the doctor and left a message with the nurse. Since it's Clara's "first" cold, not sure what to do. The nurse got me in for a 11:30 am appointment. Dr Elner's off tomorrow so rather not chance it. Bring her in today and see if she's alright.

Well, it was 10:30 AM when I talked to the nurse. So I had to hurry and get both of us out the door by 11:00 AM to make it. I fed Clara which was difficult! She didn't drink much because of her sniffles. Alright, 2 ozs, better than nothing. Gotta get ready! Diaper bag check - thermos with hot water, 1 bottle with formula powder, rag, fresh bib, got enough diapers and wipes, one change of clothing, plastic bag for her dirty diaper, pacifier, mineral water bottle. All check. Brushed teeth, gargled Listerine, washed face, moisturize face, changed, pulled hair back in a ponytail, head band, shades, changed baby, changed her outfit to make sure she's warm, powder, blush, eyeliner, mascara, lip moisturizer. All in 15 minutes! Whew.. Thank goodness Clara just laid in our bed and played with her feet. No fuss.. Good girl! Last, keys, phone, wallet. All check!

We made it just in time to the doc's. Turns out she's OK.. it's just a little cold. What great timing.. at least she gets her cold now before she goes to daycare this coming Monday.. Hopefully she'll be all better by then.

Family: New appreciation

I was watching an episode of House "Fetal Position." This episode is about a pregnant photographer, who has maternal mirror syndrome.. i.e. whatever the fetus is having, causes the mother to have it too. In this case, the mother is really ill (dying) because of the fetus' conditions. In other words, the fetus is causing the mother to die.

Being House, he insists on terminating the pregnancy so the mother can live. Cuddy, on the other hand, insists on saving the baby's life despite the risks involved. Anyhow, to cut the story short, Cuddy convinces House to save both mom and fetus.

There was a scene when House operated on the fetus. As he cut open the uterus, a little teeny hand came out and grasped hold of his finger. Tears came to my eyes as it reminded me of Clara.

Anything about babies now remind me of Clara.. I thought of how precious she is. How I've helped brought her to this world. And just so how precious her life is! How cool it is that I am a mother to my daughter. A daughter! I have a daughter! Catches me off guard everytime! I'm a mother.. and I have a daughter.. Still so surreal. I wonder when I'll ever look at her or think of her without getting the out-of-body feeling. It's like I'm watching my life with Clara as a third person. So unreal and unbelievable that this is my life, my baby. Don't think I ever will. Till the day she starts walking, goes to school, graduates, she gets her first job, gets married, have her own children.. I think I will always find myself a little short of breath, and teary-eyed every time I think of what a wonderful miracle she is.

Family: Sleepless nights..

Last couple days, I wasn't feeling too good. Sore throat, sniffly nose, headache, dizziness... to top it off - INSOMNIA!

In addition to not feeling well, I couldn't sleep on Tue and Wed nights. After putting Clara to bed, watched an episode of House, John and I would go to bed. I'd do my nightly routine, and turn on the baby monitor. *Crackle crackle*.. Good it's working. By this point, my dear husband had gone into deep sleep.

So I got myself comfortable, and closed my eyes. *Crackle crackle* *Heavy breathing* *Crackle crackle* *Neighbor's dog barking* *Heavy breathing*... Toss and turn toss and turn. I was so darn tired and yet I couldn't fall asleep! I looked at the clock.. 10:40 PM..Hmm.... I got up, got my laptop, brought it to bed and started surfing around.. 11:55 PM.. Lost internet connection.. *Shucks*... I needed to reset our modem - which was in Clara's bedroom.. *SHUCKS!*.. Should I risk it and go to her bedroom? I looked at the baby monitor *Crackle crackle*.. I better not.. she's sleeping so good. Better not chance it.

So what to do.. back to trying to sleep.. toss and turn toss and turn.. *Crackle crackle* *Deep breathing --- snoreeee, snoreee, snooooreeeee*.... I nudged my dear hubby.. "Huh.. Grunt".. *Snore*... Nuged him some more.. *Laugh*.. I perked up, "Are you up?".. Thinking, maybe he'll get up and stay up with me.. *Snore Snore Snore*.. Weirdo.. how can laugh in the middle of sleep and go right back to sleep one?? So envious!

*Whimper whimper*.. I looked at the clock.. 12:48 AM.. Got up and tiptoed to her room. Her pacifier fell off, so I put it back in her mouth. She stopped whimpering and went back to sleep. Tiptoed back to our bedroom.

Darn it! I should have reset the modem.. Sigh. Back to trying to sleep I guess.

I kept looking at the clock as time passed on. It's weird how time flew as I laid in bed trying to fall asleep. My eyes started to hurt from trying to close them too hard. *Relaaaax.. you can't sleep if you're all tensed up!*

Clara kept waking up aseveral times nd I kept putting her pacifier back. By 3:45 AM, when she cried again, I could tell it's her hunger cry. I nudged dear hubby to wake up.. I needed to get "some" sleep or I'll die of fatigue next day.

He got up and did the nice husband thing.. And that's when I fell asleep. I have this weird pet peeve thing. I can't fall asleep unless I fall asleep first. It's unfair I know! But it drives me nuts sometimes when he falls asleep to easily and so quickly. Now THAT's UNFAIR.

I've become a light sleeper since Clara was born. I get real sensitive to Clara's whimperings and cries in the middle of the night. While John can tune all that out. Not only that, he can fall asleep just like that! No FAIR!

Nice thing is - He's a good husband! :) Now, he sleeps with the baby monitor on his side of the bed. Last night, knowing that I hardly had any sleep at all the last few nights, he volunteered to let me sleep ALL night and he'll take care of Clara for me!!

I went to bed at 8:30 PM while John was putting Clara to bed. I took a Benadryl for the sniffly nose - Heard it helps with sleep too. By 9:15 PM, I was still laying in bed when John came in. I still couldn't fall asleep. So I asked for a back rub. Surprisingly, John gave one without much of a fight or hesitation.. in 10 minutes or so, I was out. Aaaand I didn't wake up until 7:00 AM when John left for work!!!

He got up 3 times in the middle of the night to feed Clara.. more than the usual feedings we give Clara.. but I didn't have to wake up once! That was heavenly sleep!

I sure miss my sleep. I love my sleep.. any mommy would know that life after baby means a good night's sleep has become pretty much non-existent. But anyway.. I'm back to my normal self now, *I think*.. until I get sleep deprived again!

Now.. I wonder if my hubby will be nice again tonight... hmm...

Family: Day Trip to Leavenworth

It's been a few weeks now that we tried to go to Leavenworth. Things kept coming up and we never got to go... But we finally went today!

It was a really cute German town. We had fun today.. it was a little chilly but it was well worth the trip. The drive to Leavenworth wasn't too bad. We made sure we fed Clara, changed her, got her all comfortable in her "magic chair" and off we went. She was good the whole way there..

Much better than when we took a road trip down to Portland! When she was 2 months old, we drove to Portland, and that was difficult. We had to stop a few times to feed her cos she had to eat every 2 hours then. And she wasn't all that fond of being in her infant car seat for a long time. A 3 hour trip turned into a 7 hour trip! Shikes!

Now that she's a bit older, she's enjoying car rides more, and she can go longer without being fed. And now that we got the Vue, she seems to like riding in the Vue more than our Oldsmobile!

As usual, Clara got a lot of attention from passer bys. She is a sweetie so I don't blame them! .. :) .. Will post some pics tomorrow that we took today!

Family: I Love You MUMMY!

At least, I'd like to think that's what she said!! Maybe she's just saying how high she could lift her legs!

Family: Clara's Birthday Pics!

CLARA'S One Month BIRTHDAY -



Is it my birthday? Am I really one month old?





I suppose I can party with you guys..





Goofball Daddy..





Little Family of 3... And Clara's asleep at her own party..



CLARA'S 3 Month BIRTHDAY -


I'm 3 Months Old!





Grandma & Clara




Grandma & Aunt Lizzie..





Family of 3 at Clara's 3 Month Birthday.. :)

Family: Shopping with Clara

I think I have finally found a trick to get Clara to fall asleep easier at night. Putting Clara to bed has (had) been a struggle. She just would NOT go to sleep.. She would squirm in her swaddle and coooooo for us to play with her. We would rock, pat, stroke, sing, whatever those people say we should do during bedtime.. NO WORK! We established 8 PM as her bedtime.. and she wouldn't sleep.. sometimes her bedtime "routine" would last till 10 PM or later!! SO FRUSTRATING!

So, the last few days, after her early afternoon nap.. I would feed her, dress her and get her into her magic car seat (we call her infant car seat that for "positive" association)... and would drive her to the outlet mall near my house and window shop. I would keep strolling and strolling and keep her awake by tickling her toes. She'd stay awake most of the afternoon. By the time her daddy meets me at the mall around 6 PM, she'd be drowsy for sleep. And we'd keep her up until 7:30PM.. that's when she reeeeaaally can't tahan anymore and her eyelids would just keep drooping shut.. despite her tremendous efforts to keep them up. Daddy would then feed her a bottle of milk while I get dinner ready. By 8:00 PM.. latest 8:30 PM, Daddy would swaddle her and rock her for a few minutes and she's out cold...

Woo-hoo! Then we get to eat dinner in peace.. !

I used to try and get her to stay awake when we're at home.. but she got so frumpy.. she liked her late afternoon naps! She's one cranky girl when she's sleepy.. and yet she doesn't want to sleep. So the getting-her-out-of-the-house strolling has worked.. ! I'm gonna keep doing it, that way John and I get some time to ourselves to catch up at night.

Let's see how long this trick lasts.. One thing I realize with Clara, she'd lead us into believing a certain trick works.. then she'll discover our trick and rebel. Then, we have to come up with a new trick.. so full of tricks her!

A couple months back, Daddy used to be the master rocker. She'd fall asleep in his arms "fairly" easily at night. I'd say after 20-40 minutes of rocking (Poor Daddy)... But she'll keep waking up every 15 minutes or so in the first 1 hour of sleep. Very frustrating.. Then all of a sudden, she didn't like her Daddy's rocking.. only wants Mommy to put her to bed. Mommy would just lay next to her in our bed and stroke her head till she falls asleep. Now, this sometimes takes 2 hours!!! Very frustrating..

Hopefully, this new trick will get her to go to bed easier.. and stay asleep longer! Seems like the older she gets, the easier it gets. Hopefully, she'll start sleeping through the night when I start working.. Maybe going to Daycare will tire her out...

Here are some pics from yesterday after our afternoon of shopping..

Rantings: CFA - STUPID exam!

I have signed up for the exam.. again. I don't know why.. hormonal imbalance I would say. Sometime July, Clara started taking naps during the day.. longer naps for an hour or so each time. Suddenly, I thought to myself that this is the best time for me to study for the exam... when else? Certainly can't really study when I return to work. So with a sudden outburst of enthusiasm, I emailed my manager and said I'd like to sign up for the exam which is happening this December.

Now, I'm struggling with studying!!! Clara's "predictability" during the day became short-lived!! It's never predictable. When she does nap now, I find myself doing other things... things OTHER than studying. Sigh.....................................

Now, I'm procrastinating by blogging about it........... I'll never pass this stupid exam.

Family: Baby Bliss

I was watching my baby sleep this morning. So peaceful... wish I can be in her shoes.. sigh......

Peaceful sleep? For us, it is pretty much nonexistent now! Any sleep we get is constantly punctuated with Clara's wakings... it's like a snooze alarm that doesn't really have an "turn off" function........ grrrr........ Thank goodness I have a husband who is willing to take over sometimes at night.

Then again, as I see her peaceful sleep-smile, I'd do anything to let her have that beauty sleep. Let her be happy and content. Can't believe she came right out of me. Such an amazing miracle...

Welcome!

Thanks for visiting my new blog spot! I shall commit to blogging regularly! -- as a way for you guys to stay in touch with me.. and stay informed about my little life. As most of you know, I am now a mother of a beautiful 4 month old. Currently still on maternity leave but will be returning to work on Oct 1! Shucks... It's tough... I really don't want to leave Clara at a daycare center. But life must go on, I suppose.

Anyway, keep checking in.. and stay in touch!